


Fics I Swear I Will (probably) Never Write

by RiotKid



Category: Bandom, Daredevil (TV), Twenty One Pilots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-05-30 14:41:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6428119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiotKid/pseuds/RiotKid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of not!fics that one day may be written but for now are just little plot bubbles floating around between the ears of everyone's favorite riot kid.</p><p>Chapters with the most comments may be made into full-length stories.</p><p>1: josh dun/tyler joseph- hgtv/florist au<br/>2: josh dun/tyler joseph- professional basketball au<br/>3: matt murdock/foggy nelson- high school/punk au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tyler Joseph Likes Flowers More Than People (The HGTV/Florist AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (one-sided) joshler (just hear me out)

Okay so what if Tyler owned a flower shop. Like maybe working with plants has always been super soothing to him and he just loves flowers so BOOM flower shop.

And one day this guy (who looks vaguely familiar) bursts through the door right before closing and is breathing really hard and Tyler's like "I dont have time for a zombie apocalypse or some huge life changing adventure okay i just got my new gardenia bulbs and i am not saving the world until i get to see those fuckers bloom"

But the guy doesn't ask him to come save the world, he's just like "I know you're closing and this is totally an asshole move but I'm working on this awesome remodeling show and we film the Big Reveal tomorrow and one of the interns is sick and the other one started crying today because she was so stressed out so please i need flowers i will pay double"

and tyler is just like. the fuck? but hey, he sort of recognizes this dude from all the HGTV his best friend, jenna, makes him watch and besides he's Sweet and Pure Of Heart so Tyler is like "okay man what kind of flowers"

and the guy goes "... nice ones?"

and tyler just stares at him for a minute and the guy caves and pulls out his phone and shows him some pictures of the rooms he needs flowers for and tyler nods and starts putting together some TOTALLY RAD BOUQUETS of FORSYTHIA and ORCHIDS and HYACINTHS and LIRIOPE LEAVES and some smaller ones of forget-me-nots and zinnias and violets and by the time he's done, HGTV Guy has fallen asleep in the chair behind the register.

 

anyway tyler gives him the flowers and the guy is like "woah you totally saved my ass" and pays double for the flowers and fistbumps ty on the way out and goes "my name is josh here is my card i will make sure you get recognition in the credits"

 

and that leads to the flower shop getting a lot more business and everything is great for a few weeks and just as he's closing up after a super good day JOSH BUSTS IN AGAIN and ty saves his ass AGAIN and refuses to charge him double and they exchange numbers and become friends and make little jokes about idfk plants? renovations? brides with overbearing mothers? whatever.

 

and a few months later josh comes in during normal hours and is like "so uh there's this guy right? and im totally into him, like head over heels, and i need some flowers to woo him. can you help?"

 

and tyler is CRUSHED but he loves josh and josh deserves the best and if this Mystery Man needs to be wooed _he will be wooed within an inch of his life do i make myself clear_

 

and while tyler is running around grabbing flowers (because the good old dozen of roses is so passe) josh describes this beautiful smart funny guy with amazing eyes and tylers heart just keeps on breaking

 

and when its all said and done ty hands him the flowers and says "go get him" and josh leaves and tyler slumps down on the counter and Does Not Cry because he still has four hours until closing

 

and THEN like he hasnt already had enough shit fall on his head today, the doorbell around back rings like **_what the FUCK cant he mourn the death of his romantic life for TWO MINUTES PLEASE_**

 

and he slams the door open, fully prepared to glare the delivery man to DEATH and

 

... and its josh. with the bouquet tyler made for him. for him to give to his mystery guy. and josh says "i didnt know what flowers to give you, but theres this guy right and he knows everything there is to know about flowers, so i really hope you like them. and. and i was really hoping you'd go to dinner with me. as a date."

 

and tyler smacks him with the flowers because really? fuckin rude he pretty much ripped tylers heart out but they go to dinner and they date and all is well.


	2. Joshua Dun Put Those Balls Away (The Professional Basketball AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> joshler

  * they're on rival teams
  * "he plays for the other team" joke
  * high school musical references ("so you were the troy bolton of your high school, huh?")
  * sweaty shirtless boys
  * jokes about handling balls
  * "friendly competition" that's really them trying to one-up each other
  * competitiveness leading to Tension
  * wearing each other's jerseys
  * one switches teams so they can play together instead of against each other
  * they help out at summer camps and after school programs for inner-city kids and help them with their homework and stuff
  * and everything is awesome and everyone is happy and healthy and plays basketball because yay sports i guess




	3. Matthew Murdock Is A Punk-Ass Bitch (A High School AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matt murdock/foggy nelson

SO WHAT IF after Matt's dad is killed and Matt goes to the orphanage and Stick trains him and all that, Mathew Michael Murdock goes after the man who killed his father.

He's thirteen years old and gangly as a baby deer, but he tracks the man down and beats him into a coma.

By some miracle of the American justice system, he only spends four years in juvie and gets out in time to complete high school in a real actual school. On probation, of course.

He wears sunglasses and a red leather jacket all the time and rumors circulate about what he was in jail for, but no one knows he's blind.

Once, a new teacher tells him to take off his sunglasses because it's against dress code and Matt laughs a little and holds out his hand to shake and says, "I don't believe we've met. I'm Matthew Murdock." And the teacher goes WHITE AS A SHEET (because obviously his blindness is on record and the man feels like an asshole) and stutters out an apology and the rumor mill has a field day.

Anyway, Matt basically has no friends except his on-again-off-again girlfriend, Elektra

AND LET'S TALK ABOUT ELEKTRA FOR A MINUTE. No one actually knows where she's from but she has super long dark hair that's buzzed on one side and she's got serpentine tattoos winding up her arms and her nose is pierced and she smokes like a chimney. All around Bad News but she's set to be valedictorian, so, don't judge a book, and all that.

Anyway, Elektra and Matt are like the world's scariest power couple and even when they aren't dating, they're close.

And Matt is on parole because he Beat A Man Into A Coma And All That Jazz, so he can't get into fights or anything, but sometimes, if someone tries to push their luck or catcall or bully _literally anyone_ they'll show up at school the next day with a black eye or a busted lip, walk straight up to the person they were antagonizing and apologize. And they never say who did it.

SO Foggy Nelson also goes to this school, and he's friends with Karen and Brett (and Brett's mom, who is a humanities teacher) and _maybe_ Marci, but she is bloodthirsty when it comes to getting the highest test scores and all that. All Foggy wants to do is get through junior year in one piece, and get that crack-pudding they sell in the cafeteria.

through some magical conglomeration of events they become Best Bros and Matt beats up this dick named Wilson for fucking with Foggy and always manages to get the last pudding so Foggy doesn't have to live a sad, pudding-less life.


End file.
